Baby Evil Writers 101: Evil is as Evil does
Face front Baby Evil Minions and give me your attention.
I know that all of you evil trainees are putting your worst foot forward. You have conquered the malevolence that is facebook. You’ve stalked agents and editors with the sneaky and quiet feet of seasoned cat burglars on twitter. You chat with other writers and industry professionals, and post all of the things, online, forever.
Once you’ve put your words and feelings on the ether that is the wicked internet—IT NEVER GOES AWAY.
Vicious is not evil. Malevolent tweets against other people/sexual orientations/races are not evil. Do not let your fingers run away on the keyboard and let all of your stupid fall out. Whining especially is not evil. If I see one more tweet about how horrible writing a query is, I will come for you in the night—with a sword—and it won’t be pretty.
Queries are a necessary evil, so is writing a synopsis. If you are truly following in our wicked footsteps, SUCK IT UP AND SOLDIER ON. Those things are evil and therefore belong to us. We embrace the evil.
You are not allowed to whine in public. There is messaging on facebook and direct messaging on twitter. Use those to have a pity-party with your friends. Make your family miserable instead of the entire world. Did you ever see Frankenstein’s Monster gripe about those awful, heavy shoes? Did Dracula complain about sleeping with dirt in his coffin? Ummm…let’s see…that would be a resounding NO.
Rejections are not a happy-shiny thing but they are necessary. What isn’t necessary is your moaning and groaning on social media. No one wants to work with a complainer. It is irritating. It is also permanently on the web forever. Do not jump off the roof and then complain that you broke your leg. OF COURSE YOU DID BECAUSE THAT WAS DUMB.
True evil is strong and silent. Not stupid.