Baby Evil Writers 101: There Is No Muse

Baby Evil Writers 101: There is no Muse

Julie Butcher

If one more person tells me they didn’t write today because the muse is gone on vacation I’m going to smack them hard.

There is no muse. Let me repeat myself, there is no muse.

The only thing there is, is to put your butt in the chair and open the document and think about the story until the words hit your fingers. There is self-control. There is hard work. There is stubbornness. There is a brilliant mind that wants to fritter away time on twitter and facebook and favorite TV shows. There is not, however, a freaking fairy that bops you on the head until they make a hole and shove a story into your brain.

Stress saps creativity. Hunger sucks main characters dry. Illness makes your story about bodily fluids which is nasty. But the straight truth is that you are your own muse and that if you don’t take care of yourself and eat and drink and sleep—you won’t write.

Quit making excuses that are the equivalent of telling a cop that you weren’t speeding, the car was going too fast because and invisible Bigfoot had his hairy appendage on the gas pedal. Listen to me, we both don’t believe you. Not one little tiny bit.

If you believe yourself about the muse thing then you are in big trouble. Also you should probably seek professional help.

I know people who were going through horrible experiences in their lives and yet still managed to write and publish a story. If you want to be paid money, then it is a job and sometimes jobs are hard WORK. If it were all fun and games then you would get no money and it would be called PLAY.

We don’t believe in a muse. We believe in work. If you want to keep fooling yourself, then go away from me. When I don’t write it is because I am stressed or lazy or sick. There is no invisible force stopping my fingers. There is only me, on the couch watching television. Sometimes there is me, working in the garden. But you know what? I know what I’m doing. I don’t blame others for me being lazy or evasive.

Suck it up people. Be honest with yourself, and get your butt in the chair.