Baby Evil Writers 101: About Research

Baby Evil Writers 101: Research

Julie Butcher

I’m sure that all of you baby evil geniuses have heard the importance of doing your research. You’ve heard horror stories about how published authors have been lambasted in public because of some little detail they had gotten wrong in their story. They get emails and people leave reviews trying to publically embarrass and humiliate the writer.

I have met writers who have gotten so deep into research that they have still been writing the same book twenty years later. Research is a deep pit that turns into an escape from what you really need to do—write. You can trick yourself into feeling productive by finding out what herb they used on lamb in Scotland in 1354. In reality, this tidbit isn’t important to the story. What the characters are doing and talking about during the meal is important.

Just write the story. Mark in red the things that you are not sure of and MOVE ALONG. You can google anytime. When in doubt, absolutely do not spend hours and hours and days trying to verify a fact. That is the time for a vague description.

Instead of saying:

He held a Sig Sauer P227 Carry Nitron. Its matte black handle fit perfectly in his hand. The 14 Round extended magazine had enough ammunition to take me down before I’d run a block. That was too much death for a seven inch weapon.

Say:

He had a gun—matte black and lethal. Adrenaline made the skin on my face feel tight, and my legs twitched with the need to run. I wasn’t ready to die.

Because no matter how much research you do, someone out there actually has a Sig Sauer P227. If you describe it perfectly, they’ll catch you on having the shell casing flying out the wrong way. Granted, that took me maybe ten minutes of research but the thing is it does not matter. There is a gun. Guns kill people. Your character thought he/she was going to die. It really is not important what kind of gun he had. The emotions generated by the sight of any gun will send adrenaline to limbs and cause a heart to beat faster.

Don’t get stuck in the details. Get deeper into the emotions. Every ten or twenty or thirty minutes of research are words that are never put onto a page.

Also it is a lame excuse to not write.

It's Not Butt In Chair, It's Hands On Keyboard

Gothic Goddess, here.

There's been a lot of talk lately about your word count and producing words and so on, and this is understandable. It's a new year, which means new beginnings and new goals and so on, and productivity/changing your habits is usually one on a lot of people's New Year's Resolutions list.

I'm okay with this. BUT!

Here's the thing. Like any new routine or goal, the enthusiasm and drive behind it can fizzle out about a week or so into it. They say it takes about three weeks to make or break a habit (some sources say six, but we'll go with three for argument's sake), so sticking with it (what’s called "discipline" for you free spirit hippy types) can be a challenge. This is where wanting it badly enough comes in, but I've covered that topic before.

What I'm going to talk about today is not desire, but fear.

See, I share our Bad Horse's opinion on the subject of writer's block. There's no such thing as writer's block. (I'm not talking about writer's angst or writer's apathy. These are two different animals I'll discuss here another time.) There's only fear.

And if you're going to be a writer, you have to stop being afraid.

That right there is the real goal. Anyone can produce words. It takes courage (guts, huevos, brass balls, a pair, cojones, a set, a backbone, a spine – you get it) to write, and I've met more than a few people who should really step back and admit to themselves that they're not brave enough to be a writer.

And you know what? That's okay.

It's okay to be afraid. It is. What makes the difference between a writer and someone who writes is what they do with that fear.

Someone who writes cries "writer's block" or whines about how they have no time to write or how they wish they could write or that they "should/want to get back to their writing" (that they haven't touched in months or years).

A writer sits down and puts their hands on the fucking keyboard and lets it happen, and THAT is terrifying. Every damned time.

Just because you accustom yourself to something doesn't mean it's less scary. It just means you're less afraid. Writing, like anything else you want to become proficient at, is scary as hell the first time you do it, but unlike firearms training or driver's education, every time you touch the keyboard, something different happens. There is no "getting used to" writing.

There's only letting yourself be okay with the fear.

Writing is about surrender, every time, and that can be tremendously frightening for control freaks.

But it's also insanely addictive and seductive. You create your own worlds, can control them (sometimes – more often than not they do what they want/control YOU), are familiar to the inhabitants of that world, you know the rules, on and on. It can be intoxicating, and sometimes you never want to leave. (Other times you can't wait to get the hell out, but that's another topic.)

When you put your hands on the keyboard, you're taking a risk of losing yourself, and that's what the majority of people who "want to write" don't understand and never will. They still think they're in control and don't want to give any of it up, when that's exactly what you absolutely must do if you're going to be a writer. (I'm smirking evilly at you,"indie" authors.)

So many of those who "want to write" think that because they blog about their various personal issues and oh-by-the-way-throw-in-something-wordsmithy-here they're a writer.

This is not so.

Being a writer is about more than production. More than being paid to make words. More than "wanting."

Being a writer is about putting your hands on the keyboard and surrendering yourself to whatever may happen. It's about losing control and letting go and not knowing where you're going or what's going to happen to you when you get there (thank you, Starman, I just totally nicked that quote).

Writing is about fear and the courage to face it.

It ain't for wussies. 

P.S. For those writers who are committed to their wordcount/goal and want a nice way to keep track and have a good visual record of their progress, may I recommend this excellent word tracker shown to me by our beloved Bitchstress Dreamkiller, available free from the wonderful Svenja Liv.

Full of it

I'm not so much Sarah as I am Snuffleupagus. My dad visited and left me a loverly head cold as a parting gift. I have done nothing this week but curl up on the couch and watch Dexter on Netflix. (Cool show, btw)

So because my head is fuzzed out, I offer you this video instead. Listen, learn, live.

Go To Your Room

Dina here. (Warning: Ah, screw it. If you're reading this post, you already know this blog is NSFW.)

I've been reading the most…well, let's just say "interesting"…blog posts lately, and they all pretty much boil down to one particular sentiment:

"WAAAAAAA! NOBUDDY WUVS ME!"

I'm going to say this once, so listen very carefully:

GROW. THE FUCK. UP.

Let's break this down, shall we? We'll go with Writer S and Writer T, because Writers X and Y are such prima donnas and I've given them enough attention on this blog. (Also, those may be their actual initials, which totally serve my purpose without actually giving them any of the attention they so desperately want. Onward!)

Writer S has had enough. Writer S is tired of being rejected over and over. They've been rejected so many times by so many people that it's just depressing. Literally. Writer S was so butt-hurt about their repeated rejections that they fell into a soul-deep crushing lethargy about their writing and announced a ragequit hiatus so they could visit their physician (who said the same thing I would have, which was "stop whining, up your fucking dose and cope" – though I'm pretty sure the doc said it in a nicer way than I would have) and search their innermost self for the Reason They Want To Write.

When they came back a week or so later, they made the announcement that they really want to write because they want someone outside their friends and family to read their work.

I'll pause here so you can reread that and let it sink in.

I discussed this issue with a friend of mine. He said, and I quote (with permission as I asked first if I may quote him), "It's more important for [them] to feel as if [they are] heard than to be paid for it."

All right. Fair enough. I can totally understand the need to feel like your work isn't in vain, and "Is Anybody Out There?" syndrome. I get it. Been there, done that, and personally, I don't think that's a valid reason to want to write/be published.

I'm sure wanting someone to read your work is a valid reason to Writer S, but I'm going to need a little more than "I just want to be heard" if you want to cross the line from "hobbyist" to "professional."

It's one thing to love your craft. It's another to bitch because the people outside your friends and family that you've given your work to all say the same thing.

I'll pause again to let that sink in.

If you're constantly getting rejections (which, by the way, is part of the game) from industry professionals that say the same thing, the problem isn't them.

The problem is you.

Which brings me to Writer T.

Writer T thinks that the purpose of a query letter is to prove that you can jump through hoops and has nothing to do with the book.

Again, I'll pause to let that sink in.

Note: If your query letter has nothing to do with the book, you're DOING IT WRONG. Just sayin'.

Writer T has (apparently, according to them) submitted to various people and places over 500 times, only to be rejected over 500 times and have their work read only three times out of that 500.

Note: If you've been rejected over TEN times with the same project using the same query letter and get the same standard "thank you but no" rejection letter, you might want to revamp one or all of the following:

a)      the letter itself – it may not be effectively communicating your premise

b)     the project  - it may not be suitable for the house/agent you're querying

c)      your approach – there are reasons for submission guidelines. Follow them.

Writer T also thinks that editors/agents/publishing houses are only interested in your "marketing plan."

Now, I don't know which of the above Writer T is querying, but not one of the above has ever asked me or anyone I know for a "marketing plan" before a query. I honestly have no clue whom Writer T is supposedly querying/submitting to, but whomever they may be, I seriously doubt they're legitimate publishing professionals.

Reading Writer T's…eloquent screed on the horrific state (and apparently inevitable collapse and death) of the "traditional publishing" (hint: the term is "commercial publishing") industry, I can't help but wonder if they did any research whatsoever on how to actually publish. There are so many obvious errors in both fact and judgment. [Example – an erroneous statement that a popular YA series was rejected "dozens of times" before the manuscript was ever read. Fact: Popular YA series was rejected thirteen times. Thirteen rejections =/= "dozens." And I'm willing to bet that Popular YA Author was asked for their full or partial manuscript at least five of those times, because that's the process.] There are also several paragraphs of complete and utter ignorance of how the legitimate commercial publishing industry works.

Both Writer S and Writer T have the same complaint. "The nature of the industry." It's "the industry" keeping them down/out/marginalized. It's "the industry" squelching their genius. It's "the industry" overlooking their brilliance and making them take matters into their own hands and self-publish, either for free on their own blogs or on a large internet for-pay publishing site.

Uh, no, it isn't. It's not the industry, it's the writers themselves. You don't get to blame other people because you can't deal with rejection.

Writing is hard. Writing professionally is even harder. Just like any other job (because professional writing is a job, just like being a secretary, doctor, lawyer, accountant, fry cook or game warden), there are rules of conduct, structure, balance, hierarchy and a standard of quality that one must meet in order to be considered for the job.

If you don't meet those standards, you're not going to get the job. Period.

I'll tell you right now that the vast majority of rejections are not personal. They simply aren't. I can give you link after link to professional industry blogs that illustrate this very fact. Rejections aren't personal. They're business and you didn't pass muster. That simple. (Of course, if you make a constant ass out of yourself, threaten, harass, stalk, or libel the people you're attempting to involve yourself with, there might be a bit of "personal" in your rejection, but that's on you, not on them.)

The solution to being consistently rejected is not to present yourself to someone else who tells you the same thing over and over again. The solution is to go back, spit and polish, then present yourself.

If you're still not getting the job, go back, polish up again and try again.

What both of the above examples have in common is their desire for results. For legitimacy and recognition. Fine. Those are fine things to want. But you have to work to earn them, and usually for a hell of a lot longer than either of the above have been at it. The average first novel takes ten years to get out. The majority of people publishing now have been at writing for a long, long time. (I'm not talking here about sensational examples of people found on fan-fiction sites and given publishing contracts in order to make the house a buck. Those are exceptions, not the rule, and generally done by one house in particular whose practices I find unpleasant.) They've all been rejected and they've all had their share of ups and downs.

Also, everyone has problems.

Everyone.

You are not the only one with medical issues, mental health issues, child care issues, money issues, emotional issues, citizenship issues, physical issues, marital issues, personal issues, job issues, social issues, or any other issues.

EVERYONE HAS ISSUES. Yours are not justification for your whiny-assed bullshit. No one gives a crap about your issues anyway! If you write as a way to deal with your issues, stick to writing emo poetry in your journal and don't bother trying to inflict it on the rest of the world, then get pissed when no one besides your mom thinks it's genius.

If you write for any of the following reasons, you're doing it wrong:

1)     For the money. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

2)     For the fame. (BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

3)     To be able to say "I'm a writer" when people ask what you do. (People either ask you to help them/refer them to your agent/want you to write "this great idea I have but I can't write," or what your "real job" is, and your mother will never accept that your writing IS a "real job.")

4)     Because you have shit to say and want a captive audience. (This is what blogs are for.)

5)     Because you're a creative soul and writing is art. (Fuck you. Go to your room and write emo poetry in your journal.)

You want to play with the big kids, you need to grow the fuck up first. Stop whining that you have sand in your panties and get your crying ass out of the fucking sandbox.