Vacation, suckers...

Yeah, that's right. I'm going on vacation. Soon. In fact, give me an hour and a half and I'm out of here! But first, tying up loose ends: write this blog post, finish packing, plan what books I'm taking, and oh, yeah, I should probably finish up work (at my day job) while I'm at it.

I'm super excited about vacation, because it'll probably be the last one for a while, since the baby is coming soon. So it's our last hurrah.

But it'll be a working vacation. I have a lot of writing goals to get done. I need to finish up some edits and polish a manuscript for submission, and I should probably write something new. I hear that's good every once in a while.

In fact, I have so much writing stuff I need to get done, I'd probably be better off staying at home for the vacation than actually going anywhere, but I suspect that would defeat the purpose (and plus I'm pretty sure the husband would be annoyed at that).

One thing I do love about vacations is that I tend to step away from social networks - my Twitter checking goes way down, which can only increase my productivity. Some days, Twitter is great at connecting me with other writers and inspiring me to keep at this writing gig. Other days, it's just a massive time suck that could swallow my soul, if I let it (and some days I do).

So what do you guys think? Will I be able to achieve my writing goals while on vacation and still have a good time?  Duh. Stupid question. It's vacation! Of course I'll have a good time!   :)

Baby Evil Writers 101: Evil is as Evil does

Baby Evil Writers 101: Evil is as Evil does

Julie Butcher

Face front Baby Evil Minions and give me your attention.

Begins rant

I know that all of you evil trainees are putting your worst foot forward. You have conquered the malevolence that is facebook. You’ve stalked agents and editors with the sneaky and quiet feet of seasoned cat burglars on twitter. You chat with other writers and industry professionals, and post all of the things, online, forever.

Once you’ve put your words and feelings on the ether that is the wicked internet—IT NEVER GOES AWAY.

Vicious is not evil. Malevolent tweets against other people/sexual orientations/races are not evil. Do not let your fingers run away on the keyboard and let all of your stupid fall out. Whining especially is not evil. If I see one more tweet about how horrible writing a query is, I will come for you in the night—with a sword—and it won’t be pretty.

Queries are a necessary evil, so is writing a synopsis. If you are truly following in our wicked footsteps, SUCK IT UP AND SOLDIER ON. Those things are evil and therefore belong to us. We embrace the evil.

You are not allowed to whine in public. There is messaging on facebook and direct messaging on twitter. Use those to have a pity-party with your friends. Make your family miserable instead of the entire world. Did you ever see Frankenstein’s Monster gripe about those awful, heavy shoes? Did Dracula complain about sleeping with dirt in his coffin? Ummm…let’s see…that would be a resounding NO.

Rejections are not a happy-shiny thing but they are necessary. What isn’t necessary is your moaning and groaning on social media. No one wants to work with a complainer. It is irritating. It is also permanently on the web forever. Do not jump off the roof and then complain that you broke your leg. OF COURSE YOU DID BECAUSE THAT WAS DUMB.

True evil is strong and silent. Not stupid.

Ends rant

Get Your Head Out of Your Ass (& Dip a Toe in the World)

A week ago a horrible tornado ripped through Oklahoma (and others through many other states as well), killing many--including children--and devastating every place it touched. On social media, there was the usual "Guys, it's time to turn off your promotional auto-tweets--it's not appropriate right now."

You know...maybe we shouldn't have promotional auto-tweets to begin with?

That's a rant for another day and not really what this post is about, though. Instead I'd like to point out this: as writers, we live in our head (duh, right?). If we're fortunate enough to be able to work from home, many of us don't interact with people outside of the ones in our heads. It tends to make us isolated and, I think, more likely to forget there IS a world outside of us.

Along comes some tragedy to remind people of that but I think the more isolated we are, the less likely we are to respond in a way that's, well, helpful at best and non-douchey at worst. But we are not isolated--my published writer friends, you have readers. Some might even be full blown fans. Even if they're not talking to you, they're out there. Further, you have colleagues and peers and other industry professionals you interact with.

When you say something tone-deaf or inappropriate, yes, there are actually people who hear you. When that "Short review quote from nobody' [link] #kindle #review #book #sale #bestseller #randomgenre #omgdoesSkylahavetotakeyourhashtagsaway #CUTITOUT" pops up in the middle of thousands of people calling for Red Cross donations and prayers for the families affected, it doesn't matter if you accidentally scheduled it--it makes you look like an insensitive douchecanoe. And, you know, maybe you ARE an insensitive douchecanoe, but maybe you shouldn't be broadcasting that publicly?

Or I distinctly remember during the Boston Marathon--a day that had thousands of people, including one of our members, waiting by the phone for hours, hoping for news about loved ones at the race--people making chipper comments late in the day/evening about what a beautiful day it was and how things were looking up.

I get it. Sometimes we have good days when other people are having bad days.

And sometimes it's best to keep mum on celebrating for a day or two lest you sound like an insensitive twat. Because it's one thing to announce you just got a promotion to your friend who you don't realize just lost her job; it's another entirely to sing and dance and broadcast your good fortune outside of a funeral where there's a sign in full view that says "Dead Children Within". And if you go to that same funeral and shout once an hour about how your book is on Kindle? Someone should punch you in the face.

The internet has brought us that much closer to one another. Being connected to people across the world means it's that much more important to know what's going on in the world. And for published writers, no matter how obscure, it means someone is always listening.

We all have bills to pay and mouths to feed but when the FUCK did self-promo become more important than compassion? When was the last time you were focused on a tragedy, saw someone say "Buy my book on Kindle!", and thought "Wow, yeah, what an appropriate time to go shopping--I'll get that straight away!"?

"But Mama Bitchstress, there's always some tragedy somewhere!"

That is true, however, if you're someone who writes for English-speaking audiences, it's fair to say that you're probably alienating a lot of people who follow you if you act like a twat during tragedies hitting large groups of people in North America, parts of Europe, Australia, etc. So, you know, start there--when your timeline explodes with mention of mass casualties, either RT some links to support or maybe STFU? This isn't rocket science, even for a socially inept bunch like us writers.

Really, the title of this post is the tl;dr of it all:

• Get your head out of your ass, and at least dip your toe in the vast world around you where your readers and colleagues are. 
• Realize that you are connected, are involved, just by virtue of being a public person.
• There are more important things than your self-promotion--like being a fucking decent human being, for starters.

Your Social Networking Balance Sheet

I have a list of ELEW post topics as long as my arm (which is long; I'm an Amazon and have long arms, yo), high among them is getting back to Editing 101 with Mama Bitchstress and our fab discussion on rape culture in fiction.

But I got sidetracked this week.

Inspired in part by a post by our Bad Horse Lilith Saintcrow about how The Hard Sell Doesn't Work and a conversation with the Gothic Goddess, let's talk about social networking for a sec.

Message vs. noise.

I'm not even going to get into this; Monica Valentinelli had a recent post about that which sums it up: 

• If everybody’s shouting different things, then no one is heard.
• If everybody’s demanding a unique reaction, then no one will give them the one they want.
• If everybody’s screaming “Help me!” “Fix this!” “You owe me that!” — then no one gives.
• If you get bombarded with “Buy me!” “Review me!” “Share me!” from multiple people at the same time, then those acts turn into a chore and an obligation.
• If you’re fully vested in what people do for you, especially in a social media context, then you get upset by the actions other people take online, jumping to the worst sorts of conclusions.
• If everybody’s shouting, then they’re all competing. And that, my friends, can be very bad for the craft of writing and reading in general.

Anyone who spends any amount of time on Twitter knows this: the more everyone is talking about their shit rather than engaging with other people, the more it turns into noise and the less of their message is heard.

Pretty simple. And for those who object and think they MUST advertise whatever is it they have for sale daily, or @ people directly on Twitter asking them to buy, please answer me this: how many books do you buy this way?

Me? I buy none that way. I tune it out. Much like when I’m trying to shop and people zoom in, pushing products on me, I walk away. And if your potential audience is tuning out, they are less likely to hear it when you have something important to say (like a NEW release). 

To quote Lili's post on how The Hard Sell Doesn't Work:

The hard sell is filling the airwaves with your self-promotion. It’s consistently talking over other people to get your idea heard. It’s bringing the discussion around to you and your work every time you open your big mouth. It’s being so “cool” you literally don’t care about anyone who doesn’t register on your celebrity radar. 

It’s annoying. And it will lose you so many friends and opportunities it’s not even funny.

Also consider this for a moment: if someone is, say, following you on Twitter...that wasn't an accident. They had to click a button to do so. This means they know who you are and, chances are, know already what you're selling. You don't need to remind them all the time.

How do you know if your message is lost among the noise? You do math.

Now, writers, don't you get all "Math is haaaarrddd!" Barbie on me. Not with the amount of time I know you spend analyzing your fucking Amazon ranking, daily word counts, and time spent procrastinating watching cat videos. You know simple math.

You get ONE promo tweet for every NINE tweets.

That's 10% of your tweets. Maximum.

Having trouble understanding why this matters? Tolerance for self-promotion varies but you need to always be aiming for the MINIMUM people will tolerate, not the maximum (unless you don't care if everyone labels you a spammer; if that's the case, have at it). And an easy way to think about it is to realize your non-promo tweets are currency.

Each time you tell someone to buy your book, you've just used up nine non-spam tweets. You "bought" that promo tweet. You want to stay in the black, not the red.

"But Mama Bitchstress, now we can't talk about ourselves? Does that mean no word count updates? No picture of my cats?"

It means vary what you talk about and make an effort to a) engage with those you follow (and if someone @'s you), and b) pay it forward and talk about other things.

Here are some suggestions.

1.     Reply to other people when they talk (DUH).

2.     Talk about other people's books you enjoy.

3.     Or share entertaining anecdotes about something.

4.     Promote important issues or charities (careful, this can turn into noise as well).

5.     Tell us what TV shows you enjoy.

6.     Solicit your followers' opinions on certain subjects.

7.     Mention the hobo midget living under the bridge in front of your building.

8.     Cupcakes.

See? You're interesting. You have a fulfilling, busy life full of awesome things you can talk about that don't involve the words "like my book on Kindle" or "see my latest review."

But the issue of currency usage with your tweets doesn't end there. Remember my post about Negative Nancy being Douchey McDouchealot? The same principle applies.

No one wants to listen to someone bitch constantly.

A healthy rant is great and no one has to be cheerful 24/7. I'm not saying that. But, once again, when you're talking publicly, it's a 9:1 ratio. It takes nine positive tweets to buy one negative one. (You should know this from getting reviews; negativity stays with you more than the positives, so you need a lot more positive to balance it out if you're constantly bitching about shit).

Your close friends and family can handle a little more negativity from you but those in the outer sphere of your acquaintance? The readers you’re trying to attract? They have far less patience. Yes, you suffer from whatever malady; yes, life is hard; yes, woe is you. Shut down the damn computer and take a walk and stop inflicting your negativity on your fans. It is not their job to reassure you nor are they your therapist.

Yes, you have to be yourself on social networks, but if you're a professional writer then be professional. 

Tweet, blog, Facebook, etc with care. Do the math. STAY IN THE BLACK.