Recycled Post - Asking For Feedback

Dr. Dina is still on hiatus. She'll return next month with scintillating posts on drowning, choking, medications, wound care, sutures, and other medical fun. Right now, though, enjoy this post recycled from the original ELEW blog, dated October 2011! I've resurrected it from the archives and updated it to reflect present day. 

Today I want to talk about feedback.

I've ranted on the subject before about opinions being like assholes – everybody has one (well, unless you're grown in a lab and are genetically engineered not to have one…hey, I write…I think about these things). I've also ranted on the subject of how much weight you should or shouldn't give to an opinion. I've talked about crit and how to respond to it without looking like a douchebag.

What I haven't talked about is what it means to offer crit/feedback.

Critting someone else's work is time-consuming and can be very dangerous for a lot of reasons. If you're critting for a friend and they're not the kind of person who can separate personal and professional critique, you're going to have a problem.

Some people just don't understand that you can like them as a person, but not like their writing or their story. As I said, some people can't separate the two; "well if you don't like my writing you must not like me."

Absolutely not true. I can like a person fine, but not like something they do. People who work for Amazon or Wal-mart, let's say. I don't like either of those companies, but some of people I know who work for them are awesome. It's not their fault the company they work for has issues.

Just like it's not my fault if I tell you that your writing isn't up to par, or is missing something, or has something lacking. We can still go to dinner and talk about things.

I don't crit often for this reason. I am one of those people who will give you my opinion – my honest opinion – if you ask me for it.

Note that: if you ask me for it. You should never ask me a question you don't want an honest answer to. Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer. If you want me to tell you something specific, tell me that. I still won't lie to you, though.

I make it very clear that I don't crit for many, or often. The first reason being time. I just don't have the time to devote to another person's work right now. I did once upon a time, but now I don't.

That's one of the things you should consider when offering to crit or beta for someone. Do you have the time? If you do, what kind of crit are they looking for? Are they going to get pissed at you for giving your honest opinion? You know…the opinion they're asking you to give?

Most importantly – can they separate the personal and professional? It's harder to do than you might think. It's hard not to take criticism of your writing personally because you put so much of yourself into it. That's a piece of you, a part of you, and when someone finds fault with it, it's hard not to associate that with the rest of you.

But you have to. If you're going to make it as a professional writer, you have to learn the difference between personal and professional crit.

If you're going to offer to look at someone else's work, make sure you know what you're in for. I've had more than one relationship change over this very thing. Make sure they know what they're asking of you.

Also, make sure you're comfortable giving them what they want. I, personally, am not comfortable just telling someone what they want to hear. It feels like lying to me, and my honesty might be brutal, but at least it's honest. I don't pat people on the head and tell them they're good when they actually suck. I feel that's doing more harm than good. If you want someone to tell you they love you no matter what, ask a parent or spouse. DO NOT ASK A CRIT PARTNER/BETA.

The whole point of feedback is to improve. You can't improve if you don't want to be told what's wrong.

And you can't help someone if they don't want to be helped. You can't tell them something is wrong if they don't want to hear it.

Remember that the next time someone asks you to read their stuff. Ask them questions about what they want – feedback, crit, or just a plain old-fashioned opinion. There are vast differences, and you should know going in which one to give.

The following terms are used interchangeably and indiscriminately, but there are differences you should be aware:

Feedback – generally refers to "editorial feedback," or an in-depth review of the work; what does and doesn't work, plot and structure consideration, character development, interaction and likability, etc. (You'll see a lot of rejection letters say something like "I'm sorry I can't offer feedback on this." This is what they mean. They can't tell you what needs improvement, etc. They can just tell you that it's not for them.)

Crit – short for "criticism." This is more than an opinion but not quite as much as feedback. This is more than "tell me what you think." This is "tell me what you think and why you think that." Crit can also include things like punctuation, misused/repeated words, typos and so on. It's a good look at both the story and the mechanics.

Opinion – "Tell me what you think." This is the basic form of feedback and the one that can get you into the most amount of trouble. It's just an opinion, usually in the form of "do you like it or hate it," and again can be taken the most personally. They don't want to know why you hate it or why you like it; just which one. Sometimes they'll ask "why" after you tell them which it is and you have to come up with your reasons right there on the spot. That's always fun….

Now, if you don't have someone you can ask for crit/feedback, there are plenty of professionals out there who will do the things above for various fees, depending on which you want. Do your research or ask someone who has used these services before for a recommendation if you're not sure where to turn.

So there you go. As a writer, be sure what you're looking for, and be sure you ask the right people for the right feedback. You shouldn't ask your best friend for editorial feedback if they're not an editor or don't have a background in English or know what they're talking about. If they read a lot, great! But if they don't…well…you might run into a problem.

Are We There Yet?

So many new authors rush. I know this because, of course, I did. Hurry, hurry, I finished a book finally. Send it out, out, out. I hope I learned my lesson on that count, but you know, I still get that jittery, anxious flutter to be submitting.
A few weeks ago I ran into something of the opposite problem, and it caught me by surprise. Considering that I'm a low on patience kind of gal, it hadn't really occurred to me that someone could have too much of the stuff.

I've been doing writer's workshops and also a lot of beta reads for friends and other authors that I've met. We have an active writer's group, and our goal is always on getting the work ready to go out. Out, into the wide, blue world where the readers live.

But at this last writer's workshop I had the pleasure of critting for gentlemen whose stories I've done a few times now, and who always entertains the shit out of me. He writes well. Sure, he has a few errors here and there and we always find something to critique...that's what crit groups are for. Still, I just assumed he was taking the feedback, applying it to the story, fixing it all up and sending it on its merry way...out, into the...you get it.

Except he's not. He's putting them aside and trying again. He asked me the oddest question too, and the thing is still nibbling away at me. He said, "when do you know you're ready to start subbing?"

My answer was terribly in-eloquent. I think I choked on my coffee and sputtered, "you're not subbing?!!"

He isn't, and despite my charming response, I don't think he has any plans to in the future. But....but...he's so good. Also, he's professional, polite, and cares about his craft. He is focused on improving and can take feedback.

And I have to ask myself, why is it that the authors you want to work with are hesitant and the ones who are rude, impatient and convinced of their own brilliance don't even question if the should be sending out their work? They send send send. But this person, who writes a brilliant tale, has a drawer full of stories I'd want people to read that will not get sent out because there were some comma glitches? Egad!

Now I feel like banging my head on desk. I want to inject him with confidence serum or something, but of course, I know he's not alone. I know intellectually that you have to believe in yourself enough and your story enough to jump off that cliff--and it's not easy (it shouldn't be). But the idea of that drawer of stories still haunts me.

Be brave, authors. Certainly be humble too, tread professionally and without a sense of entitlement, yes. Work on your craft. Read the how not to be a douchebag articles, etc. But please go forward! Save your stories, repair them, shine them up and SHARE them with the world.  Or try, at least. It cannot hurt to try.

It will hurt to find that drawer years later and wish you'd been a little braver. It hurts me now, just thinking about it. If you're getting the feedback (not from Mom, sorry) that you're stories are worth sharing...do them a favor and share them.

No lost stories. (putting that on a T-shirt or something)
~Frances

Does the Dark side really have Cookies?

I get the feeling I’m about to find out. 

When the invitation came through to join the Evil League of Evil Writers, I was thrilled. I’ve guest blogged on the site, and I agree wholeheartedly with their mission of evil. That won’t surprise a lot of people.

I jumped at the chance, primarily, because the rest of the members all pretty much rock, but also because the very idea of an evil league is pretty damn cool.  I watched the League theme song video with a delighted cackle on my lips and, like a mad scientist, began to analyze just why the Dark side was so appealing. Do they have cookies, and if so, are there any white-chocolate, macadamia nut goodies left for me?

Villains are cool. My villains, your villains, anyone’s villains. Personally, I trace the phenomenon to its origin, somewhere between David Bowie’s goblin king and Dragonlance’s evil, wizard twin, Raistlin. I fell for the dark side somewhere between Maleficent and Mad Madam Mim. (Disney really does the evil sorceress best) I’m sure everyone else has their own favorites, but why do so many of us just love that bad guy? It just might be because the dark side actually does have much more to offer…

Points in favor of villainy (the cookies)

Power: The dark side has better magic. It’s true. No matter how many sparkly, swish-and-flick spells the good guys have at their disposal, the other side’s are always bigger, more dramatic and far more powerful.

Spontaneity: You never know what the dark side will do next! The villain can be counted on to shake things up whenever boredom threatens. They are the unpredictable element, the spooky excitement of the unknown.

Underdog value: If good always triumphs, then you can’t find a better underdog than a villain. They try so hard, and yet, you’re pretty sure they’re going to eff it up in the end.  

Style: (it’s all about the clothes) The dark side often has better costumes. (Certain superhero franchises aside.) Evil couture is sexier. So are black horses, evil cars, villainous hairstyles, dragons and most evil spaceships. Evil pets are definitely cooler. Case in point:

They will get you...just as soon as they wake up.

Theme songs: The dark side gets the best music nine times out of ten. (I just made that up.)

Infamy: Way harder to earn than fame. Anyone can be famous, but to become infamous takes something really, globally, immensely huge.

Underlings: Minions are terribly useful when moving…or you know, whatever you’re doing.

Truth: The dark side is honest. Seriously. Not in a goofy, heroic, honor and chivalry kind of way. I mean in the straight up, “Hey, that’s not mine, but it’s shiny and I want it,” sort of way. You’ll never know what your good friend is really thinking. They HAVE to act nice. Your evil friend won’t bother with false, goody-goody rubbish. If you have something they want, they’ll simply announce it directly and get on with plotting your demise.

That’s the real gem, if you ask me. Not the demise part, perhaps, but the straight up bit. I want a friend who’ll tell me this dress does make my ass look huge, and then make me go change before we go out in public.  Whether you know it or not, so do you.

You want someone to tell you, “Hey, your plot has a galactic hole in it.” You do. It will sting a bit, because no one likes to hear the truth about their ass…or their book. But it’s good to know it, just the same. We need our evil friends to save us from public embarrassment. Thankfully, in this industry, we have critique partners, beta readers, editors and reviewers who will happily lend an honest opinion.

Love them. Embrace the evil. Once the stinging stops, you can probably have a cookie. But hands off the white chocolate chips. They’re for me.

~ Frances