Letting it Stew

One of the the things I like to do when I'm not writing is to help other people who think they want to give this particular kind of crazy a try. Because of this, I run into a lot of preconceived ideas about authors, how they write, and what goes into making a book. Most of them are dead wrong but understandable too. Let's face it, until I jumped into this author thing with both feet I thought books sort of magically appeared on bookshelves everywhere. 

It took a long time to sort me out. So I try to be pretty gentle sorting out expectations that fall a little short of the actual experience.

One of the things I tell new writers that seems to be particularly shocking to them is that after you write it, you need to put it away and forget about it for awhile. New authors are long on enthusiasm, but often short on patience. They want the book in bookstores, and they want it as soon as possible. I get that. I had the same problem. 

But I stand by the rule. Put it away. Don't look at it, and if you can help it, don't think about it. Usually, I suggest/instruct/plead with them to write something else while they're waiting. For good reason. Newly finished manuscripts are a source of pride, obsession, and a lot of love. You worked hard on it. You finished it. You've earned the right to fawn a little. But before you move onto editing, you better fall the heck out of love...and fast. 

The best way to do that is to fall in love with something else. 

In the same way that smokers cannot smell the odor in their clothing. (I smoked, it's true) an author who is still living inside their story cannot see it. The blinders are on. To get a realistic view you have to move out, quit smoking that book, and completely reboot your senses again. 

You have to clean your pallet.

In the same way that you can't see your ex clearly until you've fallen in love with someone new, well you get it. Let the first book stew. Let the story percolate and stale. But if possible, write something new, something more brilliant and just as engaging. Love it. Then put it away and go back to the first book ready to kick ass and take names.

Editing will hurt a lot less too, if you've got a new shiny in a drawer somewhere that you know is better anyway. 

Seasoning

I woke up this morning and new that summer was over. It didn't take more than opening my eyes. I could feel the change immediately. Granted, it's been happening gently over the last few weeks. Some days have been characteristically warm and sunny and some have been blustery and fall-dim. We even had the mother of all storms last weekend. Still, it felt like we might get a summery day at any moment...until today.

There was just a fall feeling, a chill that hadn't been there before, even on the cooler days. It had happened, any way you looked at it. The season had shifted.

And as a writer, I immediately went, hmmm, am I using this properly in my fiction?

Because there is a power to that feeling of seasons changing, and I want to incorporate anything with that emotional force into my written words. Weather has its own effectiveness, though most agree not to open with it. (Thank you, Grapes of Wrath) It can lend a mood here and there, certainly. But seasons are bigger. They stand for something. Maybe its the poet in me (I know, I keep trying to kill her.) but there's a symbolism to a seasonal change that I can't not notice.

I took inventory of my novels, and more than one of them are set with "winter approaching." It's possible this says something about me aside from the fact that I love the fall. It also says something about the tone of the books, the dark encroaching, worry on the horizon. Fading light and something ominous ahead.

If I wrote a lot about spring, I suspect the books would be different. I do use it here and there, but that winter looming feel seems to be a favorite. It also tells me I could use to stretch a little. Maybe try spring next book and see how it comes out. Maybe the height of summer next time...

Who knows. I think I'll pay attention to it now, as a reader too. Can you think of a book that uses seasons or seasonal changes well (aside from the obvious Christmas stories)? Do any specific authors use them intentionally? Well?

I suspect, like anything, like weather, it could be overdone, but I also suspect that its there more than we notice, an underlying theme, that the seasons affect us more than we notice, even in our modern world.

At the very least, today, I'm trying to remember where my sweaters are.

~Frances

Satisfaction Guaranteed

I'm going to talk about endings today, but first I want to apologize for whiffing my last posting date. Life just got the best of me there for a bit and I completely missed the boat.

No excuses. My bad.

The reason I want to talk about endings today is because I'm sneaking up on one in my work in progress, and there are a lot of little fiddly bits needing tied together. I took weaving in college, and I wish I could say it helped me even a teeny bit with plot threads, but it didn't. Not one snit.

Endings are difficult, and even more so because they are important. At least, I think they are. As a reader, an ending can make or break a book for me. A really good finish can save a lackluster novel, and a limp, soggy ending can kill a great read, and has many time over.

So what makes a good ending? Is it necessarily happy? Tragic? Full of last minute twists? Well, I'd say it could be any of those things, but it doesn't have to be. Happy, tragic, twisty or predictable all have to do with personal taste. It's hard, possibly impossible, to give advice about matters of taste.

The best kind of ending then is one that satisfies. Isn't that special? Satisfies what? Who? They say it all the time, "you need a satisfying ending." But, but...
I finally had someone say this in a way that made all the lights come on. No, you can't satisfy everyone all the time, but a satisfying ending isn't about pleasing taste. It's about satisfying the promises you made at the beginning of the book, and in fact, all the way through it.

Does the ending satisfy the beginning? Eureka. I can work with that.

The best way to see this in action is to read short stories. I swear, they have this nailed. Good short stories that is, not crappy ones. Probably a given there, huh? Anyway, a good short story has an ending like a punchline. POW. Everything comes together in one final, perfectly executed loop.

It's almost like solving a puzzle, or working out the answer to a particularly tricky riddle. Very, very satisfying. Even if you don't like what happens. There is still that huge sense of accomplishment, of finally seeing the big picture. When an ending can tie back to the beginning somehow, when it can ease the reader toward some revelation about the previous story, then we're talking about magic.

At least, I am. This kind of ending sticks with me. It keeps me thinking. Sure, you still need to tie up those loose ends, or most of them. Unless, of course, you set up a different kind of book, one where the reader would expect to be left guessing about a few things. And I'm not sure a nice, neat tied up ending is always satisfying.

In fact, taking that long, slow journey back to the Shire to show us how the story ends for each and every character can backfire on you. If the big finish was on page 280 and you're still tying up things on page 340, we need to talk. Read some short stories for awhile and find that POW ending.
I'm pretty sure there's a version that suits the novel.

In the meantime, I have some weaving to do. :)

~ Frances

Happy Birthday Frances!

Our most recent recruit, Frances Pauli: ELEW Releaser of the Hellhounds, celebrates the anniversary of her birth this day.

When I think of everything this organization stands for, I often think of Frances. I first met her many moons ago when I was working slush--I believe it was my very first R&R letter, and her book was one of those I thought of again and again. My experience with R&Rs was that they usually went ignored or often I received a rant from the writer for my trouble. Instead, lo and behold, a revised version of her book arrived sometime later, and once I got my manicured claws in, I have not let her go. I've had the extreme privilege to work on several of her books and I love each one more than the last; Frances is the height of professionalism, an exceptionally hard worker, and has one of those writer brains I want to build and fort in and curl up with hot cocoa while I watch in awe at all the twists and surprises her work takes.

The happiest of birthdays to you, Frances.

Guilty as Charged.

I don't read much for pleasure. That's a capitol offence pretty much for an author, and I lose a lot of sleep over it. I'm not kidding. It really bothers me. It's not that I don't adore reading, that I haven't spent my life until now as an avid reader or anything like that. I love a good book as much as the next person...more than most if you factor out my fellow bibliophiles.

Other authors will snort and shake their heads if you tell them you don't have time to read much anymore. I get it. I actually agree with them 100%. You have to read as an author. Perfectly valid. It's vitally important to expose yourself to others' words, to keep current with your genre, to stir the creative juices. I believe all of this...and yet, I don't read much for pleasure.

The problem is not and has never been that I don't want to read, its seriously just that I don't have time. Make time. I can hear them chanting it in my head at night. Maybe it's that easy, but I have little kids, I have home schooling, housecleaning, writing, editing, cover making, errands and laundry and holy moley some days I don't get to shower or even sleep. (And I get that everyone is busy and this is just me whining. I do.)

I want to comply, but most days, reading for pleasure (or anything for pleasure) is not going to happen. Despite the fact that I love nothing more than to ignore the world and spend a day embedded in a good story of someone else's making, it's just not very likely that I'll get to do that more than once or twice a year.

So usually I feel like a turd about it instead...except I got to thinking about what I do read, and it turns out that is a substantial amount of fiction. I won't even count my own books, which I read from seven to twenty times each during the editing phase. I won't count blogs or industry news'zines or anything nonfiction.

And I still read like a fiend.

Because I beta read for my friends. I critique for some authors and I review for others. I read tons of awesome books all the time, and I haven't been counting them at all. If I actually factor in the reading that I've done "for work" as pleasure reading, (and most of it HAS been a pleasure) I am like a reading machine!

And away floats my guilt...except they also say to keep current with what's popular in your genre, and I also agree with that wholeheartedly. Crap. It's back again.
I can't win for losing here.

The moral is to read, right? Or maybe, not to beat yourself up about it if you can't do what everyone says you "should."
Shoulds, don't do anyone any good.

But books do. :)
Even awesome rough ones written by your friends.

~Frances

Shop Talk

There's a reason people tend to socialize with folks who do the same thing they do. Writers, like other artists, have their collectives, their guilds and groups, their gaggles and congregations. A lot of people will claim that we gather for practical purposes. We are advised to "network" and to build a creative circle for many business reasons.

Actually, this is good advice, but I'm feeling humorous today, and I want to talk about an even more important reason to have a group of authors with whom you can socialize. So let's put aside all those valuable and valid reasons to seek out a writing circle and talk about something else: the safety and well-being of your friends and family.

By this I mean that you need people who "get" you...at least I do. I need someone that will give me the correct responses to my complaints and cheers, my bitching and whining, and who will appreciate any hard-won celebrations. For instance, when I tell my husband that I have to write a one page synopsis of my 300 page book and he says, "shouldn't be too hard" or "that sounds like fun," I need to be able to NOT beat him to death with our toaster. Having someone who I know will say, "ah shit," and then throw chocolate at me goes a long way toward keeping HIS forehead toaster free.

You get what I'm saying, I'm sure. But just for fun, here are a few more.

Writer: I think I may be stuck on this book. I haven't written in three days.
Well-meaning family member: You should take a break. Take some time off and give it a rest.
Writing Buddy: Oh, is the poor author feeling lazy today? Books don't write themselves, you weenie, get back to work.

Writer: I'm thinking of making the villain a robot monkey.
Mom: I never get tired of those.
Writing Buddy: Another monkey? Why not, right? I mean, you wouldn't want to actually put something original in this one.

Writer: I just got a partial request from an agent.
Family Member: When they make the movie, can you get me a part in it?
Author friend: Here, have this big ol' glass of tequila.

Your author friends will mock you when necessary, encourage you when it's absolutely mandatory, and understand your insane babbling about plot arcs and motivation without needing an interpreter.

Just remember that your family is trying their best, and that you probably don't get the responses to their comments right either. Because I've seen the toaster look in his eyes too, and I can only hope he has someone he can tell about lures and flies and the difference between hatchery raised and wild salmon who will give him the right reaction. My forehead hurts just thinking about it.

Play safe. :)
Frances

Writing Out Loud

Objectivity isn't easy when you're dealing with your own creation. We try, of course. We know it's necessary for the truly effective editing, revising, rewriting phase. We put the freshly shiny manuscript aside and let it perk, we ignore it, we try to fall in love with a new story before approaching it again. But the words on the paper are still ours. Even though the "set it aside for some distance" strategy works (and I highly recommend it) we're still so close to our words. Deep down, we still gloss over them.

They are very hard to see clearly.

It turns out what really helps bring them into focus is to HEAR them. A lot of people suggest reading your work out loud, I know. But for years I took this advice in, processed it, considered it, acknowledged its validity and then consistently ignored it. I mean, it's embarrassing, talking to yourself. Even completely alone, I found it uncomfortable to read out loud. I got the theory, but to actually do it seemed silly, goofy, possibly slightly insane.

Then I signed up to do a public reading. (eep) After my initial panic attack subsided, I started to practice. I read and re-read. I recorded. I read to the mirror, to my family, to anyone I could get to sit still for me. Nothing like the fear of looking stupid in public to motivate me, let me tell you.

And despite the fact that I survived this public reading thing, (and even actually enjoyed it) the big revelation in the process was how much crud I discovered hiding in my manuscript. I found goofs I'd never seen. I found typos. I could hear the rhythm of the story and even when I didn't find an error, I found a thing or two I'd have liked to word differently.

I'll be damned.

I hate it when that happens. I mean, if I'd taken the stupid advice years ago....well, you get it. Reading out loud works. It works really well. I highly recommend it, but then, so did everyone else long before I came around. Will I read everything I write aloud from now on? I doubt I'm that devoted, but I might give it a try.

I'll definitely be talking to myself more than usual. Edit, edit, edit, read!

Finding Your Zen

Breathe, relax, breathe...listen to the sound of water falling gently over your career.

It's been this sort of a month. The sort that has me thinking a lot about bad behavior and what drives people to thoroughly forget how not to be a douchebag, author-wise or not. Usually I blame lack of parenting, but that's probably because I'm a parent and, considering the prevalence of blatant rudeness today, I suspect not every jackass on the street was raised in an orphanage. Some of them must have had parents who told them to say please and thank you, to respect others and to treat people the way they wanted to be treated.

So where did it go wrong? In an effort to not sound totally hypocritical, I looked at my own behavior, good and bad, and it seems to me that most nastiness (yes, I have a lot of it) is the direct product of stress, pressure, frustration...in other words, badly managed anxiety. Basically, when I get all "yell-y" it's because I need to get my Zen on. Breathe....and exhale.

Trying to get published, sell books, write books, write more books is a seriously stressful process. I'm not justifying bad behavior, nor am I going to advise rushing out to take a meditation class, buy some crystals and go on a retreat (okay, I like all those things, but this is not the place for it.) Since I like to believe that people are inherently trying their best, it helps me sleep easier at night to think that the douche-y-ness is accidental. With that in mind, I do think a little relax and breathe might go a long way toward combating bad behavior. In fact, I'd wager a deep breath can diffuse a lot of unpleasantness, and related to writer's business, I can think of a few tips to keep things calm and friendly-like.

1- Kill the pressure. The world will not end if you don't become a famous writer today. Your world won't even end. If your story gets rejected, if no one buys the book, if no one reads the book, or even the next book, nothing significantly horrid is going to happen. (I have to remind myself this when I'm trying to finish a book. If it doesn't happen, there will be no flooding and destruction, honest.)

2- Refuse self-imposed deadlines. There is and always will be another chance tomorrow. And the next day, and really, pretty much every day you have in your future. Nothing ever has to happen "this second."

3- Engage perspective. We all love books, reading, writing, publishing, story-telling. It's awesome, yes. But if we get honest, it's not life and death. It's not really, honestly all that important. That might rile up a lot of folks who love books, and I do too, but if the meteor was on its way and we were looking at our last few moments, I seriously hope you'd all rush to be with loved ones and family, not pick up a good book and kick back. Okay, maybe you would. I'm not judging, but any way you slice it, keeping your perspective helps attitude. This is fun. It's art. It is not survival, love, family, etc.

4-Eliminate Should. A therapist taught me this, so it has to be true, right? Should is an evil word. Taking it out of your vocabulary, in particular your self-dialogue, makes for a lot happier existence. Should has a tendency to carry implied shame with it. I should have been done already. I should have sold more copies. They should have accepted that. I should be farther along by now. Nothing that starts with "I should" can do you much good. (Unless it's, I should stop now and go get a big ol bowl of chocolate ice cream.)

5-Your navel might be the center of the universe, but so is mine. I like to ponder this just to freak myself out, in particular when I'm feeling very important. Go someplace really crowded and look around. Every single one of the people you see FEELS exactly as significant as you do. Their lives feel equally important to them. Their worries, their joys, their experience. When you deal with anyone, editors, readers other authors, reviewers, etc. remember that. Their opinion, to them, has the same weight that yours does. In fact, in their universe, they are the central player. You can't be the main character in someone else's story.

Personally, I wouldn't want to. I have enough trouble breathing through my own anxiety. The point is, relax about it. Relax about everything. Just relax. You'll probably be nicer, better behaved, and maybe a little healthier and happier too.

Are We There Yet?

So many new authors rush. I know this because, of course, I did. Hurry, hurry, I finished a book finally. Send it out, out, out. I hope I learned my lesson on that count, but you know, I still get that jittery, anxious flutter to be submitting.
A few weeks ago I ran into something of the opposite problem, and it caught me by surprise. Considering that I'm a low on patience kind of gal, it hadn't really occurred to me that someone could have too much of the stuff.

I've been doing writer's workshops and also a lot of beta reads for friends and other authors that I've met. We have an active writer's group, and our goal is always on getting the work ready to go out. Out, into the wide, blue world where the readers live.

But at this last writer's workshop I had the pleasure of critting for gentlemen whose stories I've done a few times now, and who always entertains the shit out of me. He writes well. Sure, he has a few errors here and there and we always find something to critique...that's what crit groups are for. Still, I just assumed he was taking the feedback, applying it to the story, fixing it all up and sending it on its merry way...out, into the...you get it.

Except he's not. He's putting them aside and trying again. He asked me the oddest question too, and the thing is still nibbling away at me. He said, "when do you know you're ready to start subbing?"

My answer was terribly in-eloquent. I think I choked on my coffee and sputtered, "you're not subbing?!!"

He isn't, and despite my charming response, I don't think he has any plans to in the future. But....but...he's so good. Also, he's professional, polite, and cares about his craft. He is focused on improving and can take feedback.

And I have to ask myself, why is it that the authors you want to work with are hesitant and the ones who are rude, impatient and convinced of their own brilliance don't even question if the should be sending out their work? They send send send. But this person, who writes a brilliant tale, has a drawer full of stories I'd want people to read that will not get sent out because there were some comma glitches? Egad!

Now I feel like banging my head on desk. I want to inject him with confidence serum or something, but of course, I know he's not alone. I know intellectually that you have to believe in yourself enough and your story enough to jump off that cliff--and it's not easy (it shouldn't be). But the idea of that drawer of stories still haunts me.

Be brave, authors. Certainly be humble too, tread professionally and without a sense of entitlement, yes. Work on your craft. Read the how not to be a douchebag articles, etc. But please go forward! Save your stories, repair them, shine them up and SHARE them with the world.  Or try, at least. It cannot hurt to try.

It will hurt to find that drawer years later and wish you'd been a little braver. It hurts me now, just thinking about it. If you're getting the feedback (not from Mom, sorry) that you're stories are worth sharing...do them a favor and share them.

No lost stories. (putting that on a T-shirt or something)
~Frances

Temporary Insanity

I am shirking my duty a little bit this week. I'll be at Norwescon this weekend and my pre-con schedule is fairly frantic. So, I'm revitalizing and updating a post I did on my blog a whole lot of years ago. In honor of April becoming the new Camp Nanowrimo month and my continued, somewhat insane, participation.

Temporary Insanity

Too many years ago my good friend came to me, brimming with excitement over something she’d discovered. I poured the coffee, and she poured forth a tale so unbelievable that I feared for her sanity. It goes something like this: “Let’s write a 50 thousand word novel in thirty days.”

Imagine my horror. As I tried not to choke on my cookie, she waved a slim, tattered copy of a book in my face and beamed at me. Her chatter faded into the background, but I caught a few words, mainly “50,000” stuck out—and “one month.”  As the book flew back and forth I managed to catch the blurred title: No Plot, No Problem. Well, it sounded innocuous enough.

Still, I was a classic story-starter-and-never-finisher. This idea she was on about, this “finishing” disturbed me. I broke out in a sweat. Deadlines, frankly, gave me the heebie geebies. My comfort zone lay somewhere between: think a lot about it and never actually write it, and write like mad for a week and then get distracted by something shiny and change projects.

I guffawed in the face of her excitement. However, she can be relentless at times. Eventually, I caved and agreed to read the book, but I had no intentions of lending credence to this preposterous concept. Enter: No Plot? No Problem.

I began to read the book, shaking my head in disbelief. I chuckled. I gasped. I caught myself thinking, “maybe.” I came to my senses and kept reading. The book is written in quite the seductive manner. It’s ingenious; it’s hilarious. I thought--this just might be possible. Who said that?

 By the time I’d read the entire thing, I was game. I mean, it was only May and the ludicrous event didn’t even begin until November. I had plenty of time to come up with a reason to back out. Then the oddest thing happened. I got excited. I found myself pacing the floor and watching the calendar. Would November never get here? In early October, the website woke from it’s annual silence, and the message boards burst to life. The anticipation of thousands of authors waiting for Nano to start is infectious. I thought, I’m really going to do this. 

And just like that, I wrote 50,000 words in a month. Many, many times. Was it a torturous, insane, caffeine filled, blur of temporary insanity? Oh yes. What a ride.

Addendum: One week ago the same, nutty friend asked me to write a story in a weekend with her. Because I never learn, I mocked her again, waffled and then relented. In less than three days I churned out a 17K story that I'm pretty tickled with. Perhaps, I should start listening to her. 

But I probably won't. 

Come join us for campnanowrimo.org if you get the urge. 

Thanks,

Frances

Currency

I practice manipulative parenting. I'm not proud of it, nor am I ashamed. It works, you see, and with kids you do what works. Parenting classes, books, videos etc. talk a lot about finding your child's currency. It's a big deal, and funnily enough, it has nothing whatsoever to do with money.

It means finding the one thing that your kiddo cares about enough, wants badly enough that it will work as a sort of leverage. It's not as mean as it sounds, really. And at the risk of inciting child rearing debate (my kids are super spoiled and healthy as horses) I'll switch to my point, which is how this applies to writing.

You see, I recently found my own currency. Other authors will recognize this as "motivation." We talk about it a lot, in particular when the royalty checks are slim and we're considering day jobs at the check-out stand. "Why do I do this?" or alternately, "What am I really going through all of this for? Money? Fame? Masochism?"

I've never been ashamed to admit that the money was important. I believe authors should get paid, and it would be really great if one of them was me. Fame scares the shit out of me, so that's pretty much off the table, but making a living at this, I always assumed, was the goal.

Until I found out what my best friend was doing.

It's not as weird as it sounds. You see, she's amazingly supportive and kind and generous and has been purchasing every one of my books religiously. She's ponied up good money to have a copy of everything Frances Pauli has written, because she's just that kick-ass of a friend.

But she hasn't been reading them.

I get a little horrified shiver just thinking about it. "You...You what?" I stutter, clutching at my chest.

"But I bought them all."

"But...but..."

But she doesn't know what happens in book two. She never met character X, never watched so and so die, never read the ending.... aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! I lost sleep over this, and let me tell you, sleep is a big deal at my house.

And suddenly it was crystal clear. I don't give a rat's hiney about the money, not really. Not when it comes down to it. I want people to read the books. I want to share the stories. This shouldn't surprise me, not me, who like a zealot force feeds every one of my favorite movies to anyone I can get to sit in a chair  and look, looooook, LOOK! (watch, Joyeux Noel, asap)

Don't you dare talk through it.

Motivation is a funny thing. So is perspective, and though I still like the idea of getting paid, I feel a lot more relaxed about it now. Of course, I have a whole new kind of panic about readers, and feedback and...well you get it. It was a big aha moment for me, and one that has really changed my outlook. Currency is a funny word for it, but it fits.

Now if I could just find hers, I could make her read......

;)
Frances

Does the Dark side really have Cookies?

I get the feeling I’m about to find out. 

When the invitation came through to join the Evil League of Evil Writers, I was thrilled. I’ve guest blogged on the site, and I agree wholeheartedly with their mission of evil. That won’t surprise a lot of people.

I jumped at the chance, primarily, because the rest of the members all pretty much rock, but also because the very idea of an evil league is pretty damn cool.  I watched the League theme song video with a delighted cackle on my lips and, like a mad scientist, began to analyze just why the Dark side was so appealing. Do they have cookies, and if so, are there any white-chocolate, macadamia nut goodies left for me?

Villains are cool. My villains, your villains, anyone’s villains. Personally, I trace the phenomenon to its origin, somewhere between David Bowie’s goblin king and Dragonlance’s evil, wizard twin, Raistlin. I fell for the dark side somewhere between Maleficent and Mad Madam Mim. (Disney really does the evil sorceress best) I’m sure everyone else has their own favorites, but why do so many of us just love that bad guy? It just might be because the dark side actually does have much more to offer…

Points in favor of villainy (the cookies)

Power: The dark side has better magic. It’s true. No matter how many sparkly, swish-and-flick spells the good guys have at their disposal, the other side’s are always bigger, more dramatic and far more powerful.

Spontaneity: You never know what the dark side will do next! The villain can be counted on to shake things up whenever boredom threatens. They are the unpredictable element, the spooky excitement of the unknown.

Underdog value: If good always triumphs, then you can’t find a better underdog than a villain. They try so hard, and yet, you’re pretty sure they’re going to eff it up in the end.  

Style: (it’s all about the clothes) The dark side often has better costumes. (Certain superhero franchises aside.) Evil couture is sexier. So are black horses, evil cars, villainous hairstyles, dragons and most evil spaceships. Evil pets are definitely cooler. Case in point:

They will get you...just as soon as they wake up.

Theme songs: The dark side gets the best music nine times out of ten. (I just made that up.)

Infamy: Way harder to earn than fame. Anyone can be famous, but to become infamous takes something really, globally, immensely huge.

Underlings: Minions are terribly useful when moving…or you know, whatever you’re doing.

Truth: The dark side is honest. Seriously. Not in a goofy, heroic, honor and chivalry kind of way. I mean in the straight up, “Hey, that’s not mine, but it’s shiny and I want it,” sort of way. You’ll never know what your good friend is really thinking. They HAVE to act nice. Your evil friend won’t bother with false, goody-goody rubbish. If you have something they want, they’ll simply announce it directly and get on with plotting your demise.

That’s the real gem, if you ask me. Not the demise part, perhaps, but the straight up bit. I want a friend who’ll tell me this dress does make my ass look huge, and then make me go change before we go out in public.  Whether you know it or not, so do you.

You want someone to tell you, “Hey, your plot has a galactic hole in it.” You do. It will sting a bit, because no one likes to hear the truth about their ass…or their book. But it’s good to know it, just the same. We need our evil friends to save us from public embarrassment. Thankfully, in this industry, we have critique partners, beta readers, editors and reviewers who will happily lend an honest opinion.

Love them. Embrace the evil. Once the stinging stops, you can probably have a cookie. But hands off the white chocolate chips. They’re for me.

~ Frances